let it rain on us forever.”
— VNV Nation, Solitary
This is sort of cheating because I originally posted this six years ago (Ouch.) to a now-unused Livejournal account. Frustratingly, very little has changed in that time. Frustrating because I figure that lack of progress is entirely my fault.
I am posting it again as a reminder to myself, as a lead-in to posting about related topics, and because I know other people can relate and maybe we can talk about it in the comments.
“You need more days of being absolutely convinced of your own brilliance.”
— my friend Annie (to me via Google Talk)On occasion, I have these little aspirations (some larger than others) of writing for a living. Or at least perhaps writing on the side to supplement a primary source of income.
I spend so much time up in my head, it’s ridiculous. Even when I’m at work, the wheels of my imagination are spinning. I’ve taken to keeping a small notepad in my back pocket (everywhere I go, including work) just to jot down ideas when I have the chance. Right now it mostly has brief little snippets of dialogue that seem to spring into my mind randomly and unbidden.
On the rare occasions when I’ve attempted to sit down and write something generally original (as original as anything can be anymore), I just find myself presented with a gauntlet of doubts and self-imposed obstacles (this should be a familiar arrangement of mine to some of you). I hear that this sort of mental blockage is fairly common among even well-known authors but it remains daunting, regardless.
It occurs to me that perhaps dragging these fears and doubts out into the light might help me start to deal with them better. And so I will list them here.
1. Most (if not all) of the best work I’ve done in the past has been entirely derivative, using someone else’s world where I don’t have to come up with all of the setting details. This has helped me become a pretty good GM (not bragging – ask those who’ve played in my games) but I can’t think of much use for it elsewhere. The internet is proof that there are legions of fanfic writers. I’ve written both Dragonlance fanfic and Vampire: The Masquerade fanfic (before it was even called fanfic) and the lengths of the fic I’ve written for these settings brings me to my next point.
2. I don’t have much trouble coming up with ideas, but I am not terribly good at following through on them. A good majority of my stories are unfinished and/or incredibly brief (less than a page long).
3. I don’t get out much. That is to say, my knowledge of the world around me is generally and sorely limited to this city I’ve spent the last 15 years of my life in. And beyond that, I’ve been rather hermit-like in my social proclivities. I know little about life, about world events or the basic things that make society work. I don’t even know much about the world as it was during the periods I claim to have an interest in (medieval/renaissance eras). Authors I read bring up smells and sights and other physical sensations I’d never think of in a million years. They reference things that I’d never guess at, and it makes the story more real. I don’t know where they get this information and I don’t know where to begin looking.
4. When I sit down and try to think of things to write about, I’m uncertain of the quality of the things I try to create without using a pre-established setting. Yes, I can come up with ideas. But are they good ones? Would anyone want to read what I’ve come up with?
5. Patience. I’m easily distracted by quick-fix entertainment and my addiction to the internet. Same problem I had with attending to my studies with school (and still struggle with), so I know it can be overcome when it’s something I honestly care enough about. But for now it’s still there.
So there you have it. All my fears and doubts about writing laid bare.
And it’s still something I dream of doing someday.
This ties in to a larger theme in my life that I am planning to tackle in my next blog post. Suffice to say for now that figuring out how to deal with this is still clearly an on-going process for which I am lacking clear answers.
I know the usual advice is “just write”. Maybe it really is that simple and I’m mostly finding excuses. What say you, reader?
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Dracography 
June 19, 2012 at 7:56 PM
Firstly, ditto.
2: Just write.
D) This is a somewhat echo chambery, I’m sure, and not a little “put your money where your mouth is”, but as far as I know, there is no one right way to write. You work on it until you find what suits you, and the only way to do that is to knuckle down and write. Your notebook habits are already on a good path. Just write. It doesn’t have to be a lot, it doesn’t even have to be good, it just has to get out of your head and into the world.
Then let it stew. Come back later and re-read what you wrote. It might be good! It might be bad. That’s where you begin to rewrite. Fix it up. Clarify. Add some details. Describe more. Describe less. Add dialogue. Revise exposition. Remove paragraphs. Re-order events.
Just write.
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June 19, 2012 at 9:20 PM
I think you’re fairly spot-on regarding there being no one “right way” to write. One thing I have been doing is reading (or at least skimming) a lot of writerly advice and if I had to dilute it all into some sort of summary I think “It’s subjective.” would be somewhere near the top.
There are no end of suggestions, methods, and observations about the act of writing, but few of them match on a 1:1 scale on anything but that the act itself is paramount.
I like this idea of tossing some words into a sort of crock pot of creativity (Crock Pot of Creativity is the title of my second book of writing advice.), though. Might help with that constant roadblock of wanting it to be perfect on the first go. I may have to give that a try.
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June 20, 2012 at 9:40 AM
First of all, never be ashamed of what you have written. Crap or gold, fanfiction or an original story, poetry or blog posts, every piece of writing you have in your ‘portfolio’ is an excersise that only serves to help you become a better writer. Consider: some professionaly published novels are crap (*cough*Twilight*cough*) and some comic books, which are in their own way professional fanfiction, are masterpieces. Crap or gold, the one thing all these writers have in common is that they have been proud enough with themselves and their work to finish and publish their work.You need that confidence in yourself, too.
Secondly, one of the problems I have also had as a writer is a tendency to focus on the visual and the auditory, leaving sensations like touch, smell, and taste out of my work. I blame television and movies for this, but that is neither here nor there. You mention wondering where writers get the ideas they have for these things, but really, all of these things are around you, even as you sit there. Sitting at your desk right now, you can hear the whirring of your computer fan, feel the way your chair swivels, smell whatever you’ve got to drink near you, taste your mouth going dry as the air conditioning does a number on the humidity in the room. The city you’ve spent most of your life in offers you the same expereinces as anyone else– you just have to pay attention to them.
You’d be amazed, also, what similar activites can be done to fantastic ones. Hauling that couch up a flight of stairs with a friend can be dangerously similar to heaving the dead king’s coffin out of the cursed temple before the enemy detects it is missing. Think of how your back strained under the weight, how your friend wanted to move too fast or too slow, think about how the couch clipped corners and barely fit through the door, think about how you just wanted the whole ordeal to be OVER so you could go home and get a beer.
If you feel you have no basis for comparison for smells or tastes or what all, then you need to get out there or do some research. You want to know what a horse smells like so you can write a more convincing battle scene? Go to a petting zoo, rodeo, or farm and find out! Want to know how it feels to fire a Colt 45? Go to a gunrange in your area and rent one. Visit the historic district of your city to get a feeling for older architecture. Even if you’re living in Nowheresville, USA, there are plenty of places and things around to help you expereince more than the mundane.
Now, obviously, some things don’t actually need or want to experience– for example, you probably don’t want to let that horse trample you or let the guy at the gun range shoot you in the leg so you know what these things feel like. 🙂 And of course, it may not be fiscally possible for you to visit a rainforest or outer space. But those are things a good bit of research can tell you about. And if all else fails, make something up. 🙂
TL;DR, Just write. Explore your surroundings and pay attention to what you find, and if all else fails, make something up.
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June 22, 2012 at 3:33 PM
I have, in the time between originally writing that post and now, come across advice about where writers get their ideas. One of my favorites comes (not surprisingly for those who know me) from Neil Gaiman who says, “I make them up. Out of my head.”
http://www.neilgaiman.com/p/Cool_Stuff/Essays/Essays_By_Neil/Where_do_you_get_your_ideas%3F
The other is, as you say, from all around us. I definitely struggle with remembering to hit all the senses in my own writing. I like your suggestion about finding mundane ways to experience fantastic activities. 🙂
Heck, I like your whole comment. Lots of good stuff, here. Thank you!
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July 5, 2012 at 2:59 AM
This is the kind of thing that inspires me: http://channel101.wikia.com/wiki/Story_Structure_104:_The_Juicy_Details
Give it a read on your next night shift. 😉
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July 6, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Oohhh, interesting! Thanks!!
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